Can You Picture That?

If any of you read Hyperbole and a Half the following might make a bit more sense.
  I'm going to start a story/comic mix. The way H&H does it is the picture is a supplement, it adds a visual effect to what you're reading. What I play to do is mix the two by writing a story that is told, for the most part, through text like a regular story. Where I differ from the run of the mill book or short story is that I'm going to integrate strips into the story that are part of the story itself like a sentence or paragraph in and of itself. For example,
  Nathan trudged down the street to the first bar he could find. He wasn't a tourist, no, that had never quite been his style. He wasn't going to open a pamphlet on the best bars to visit in Manhattan. He was an experiencer. He went places and saw the things the city tried to shy away from. He did not want to see the Statue of Liberty or go to a museum. He wanted to see people living everyday lives. He wanted to meet the regulars even if he wasn't one himself. He looked up to see where fate had brought him.

Stolen from Evil Enterprises without artist's permission.

 What a dump. But hey, you only live once, and this place looked like it made sure of that.

I feel dirty taking from the unpopular, but who's going to know?

 How does he know me? Nathan thought to himself. I've never been here before... I've never even been to New York before.
"Nathan, are you alright? Why don't you take your regular seat at the bar and Ear will get you your usual!" the cheerful host said leading him to the end of the bar.
I have a usual? Nathan eased himself onto the stool as if he expected it to devour him whole. Why anyone would sit down on something about to eat them is beyond anyone's knowledge.
"Evenin' Nathan," the barman grunted, setting down a wine glass filled with what appeared to be soda.
"Uh... Evening Earl.." Is that what he would say if he were a regular? Nathan thrust the words out of his mouth in an attempt to feel normal. Everything seemed normal except him. Was everything normal? The exterior of this place seemed on its last leg, yet here he was in what could easily be confused for one of the finest French restaurants in the country. He'd play along for now, see what happened. Worst case scenario it was all a joke. Maybe the concierge knew a fool when he saw one and phoned ahead.
  Nathan looked around the room. No phone.
" In a wine glass so you can feel fancy, just like you like it," Earl said eying the untouched wine glass.
" Er... Yeah, thanks. I couldn't remember if I left the stove on..." Nathan said attempting to keep his voice casual. Maybe if he acted strange enough the truth would reveal itself.
" Hah, what are you doing with a stove Mr. I-Eat-Everything-I-Catch-Live?" Earl said with a barking laugh. Everything in that statement, including the laugh, raised the hairs on the back of Nathan's neck.
" ...Experimenting. Thought maybe I'd try something new?" Whoever they think I am is stranger than anyone I could ever dream of. Aha! Maybe that's it! I must be dreaming! Of course! Come on Nathan, wake up! Wake up! 
"Sir! Sir, stop! What are you doing?! You'll hurt yourself, stop!" the host cried as he attempted to pull Nathan's head back from the bar, which he had taken to smashing his forehead again. The commotion had spilled the soda, getting all over poor Earl. I hope whoever I am remembered to bring his wallet to pay for any damages...
"Sir! Sir! Nathan! Stop this immediately!" Nathan sat up with a start, causing the host to stumble backwards and land uncomfortably into a booth. The voice was in and out of his head. It was like a throbbing in his left temple. In and out. Inside, outside.
"I must ask that you refrain from disrupting the other customers!" he cried from the seat cushion. Nathan looked around. The everyone in the room was staring at him. The were not there a second ago.
This is either the worst dream ever, or the most elaborate "reality television show."
"I assure you that this is no television show!" Earl said gruffly.
How did he hear that? I thought that statement. I have to get out of here! Nathan rose off the stool only to see the door was no longer there, but a very angry security guard.
" I'm going to have  to ask you to come with me." There it was again, the in and out. They sure don't teach you these things in school.

Home is where you hang your hat, lay your head, and bed your wenches

So I figure with all this wonderful updation going on lately, some of you are interested in what my "castle" and "sanctuary" looks like, so I thought maybe I could illustrate my story with pictures. Which isn't really illustration, I realize that now, but I've typed it so it's too late!!! (There is definitely no editing on this website, I type with this much accuracy all of the time...)

First off, the feared and epic fortress (that's right, it's a fortress now because it has a door)

You would not believe the amount of torches on this thing.

I don't have a bed for wenching, but on that note  I haven't seen any wenches.

 
So that's where I live right now, but maybe eventually I'll move out into bigger and better things! Probably not though, I like caves and underground living quarters. The castle is a front. Also, this is secret, what's cooler than that?

Why did the minecrafter stop lumberjacking? He couldn't hack it.

Night 3:
  I have retreated underground for a few days, though I do not know how long. I just know I have not written anything since my third day here. In the intermediate time I have managed to craft a sword out of some iron deposits I found and refined here while expanding my underground shelter. It is a fine blade and I hope to put it to good use either in my defense or hunting.

Day 6?
  I decided to pop out and have a look about my castle, just to make sure there was no forced entry or attack on my castle. To my surprise it was daylight, which was quite fortunate as I was quite hungry. I emerged with my sword in hopes of finding a stray cow or pig. I was very pleased to find a whole heard of cows milling about a few yards from my castle! I killed a few, as well as a small family of pigs nearby for the leather and meat, hopefully enough to sustain me for a few days. My plan is to make some simple armor out of the leather should those creepers or anything else attack me while I am out and about.

Night 6:
  My armor has turned out quite satisfactory. It is not the most protective thing in the world, perhaps a barrel around my middle would be better suited, but I make do with what I have. I jest of course, I would hate to have killed those animals for nothing.
  I must be more careful when mining deeper into my lair (I am testing different names as I stay in longer and longer). Earlier this evening I was cutting above me, hear me out, to give myself a bit more head room so that I could quit crawling around on my hands and knees. How am I to survive if I develop a bad back?! Much to my dismay the ceiling caved in a bit causing a mess of sand to come pouring in. Luckily I was able to block the area up, though I have a few interrupting pillars about the area now. Torch posts I suppose! Much to my chagrin I also cut too far east and practically flooded my cave, hitting the lake behind my castle! I lost a few torches, but I have dried them and they should be reusable. I managed to stop the hole up with another piece of rock. All this mining has caused quite an increase in strength, something I hope to put to good use defending myself should I venture out at night again.

Day 7:
  My my, have I already been here a week, if not more? It feels like months, but I suppose that is wishful dreaming. I cannot return home just yet...

Day 7 cont'd:
  I did not mean to make my last entry so short, but I remembered that the trees I planted had looked almost full grown and that I could use the lumber. It is astounding just how fast these trees grow here. After I emerged from my hole in the ground the other day, I saw that the trees I planted were full grown without two days even though the trunk rings indicated two years! Now obviously I did not expect trees to be grown by now, but after I cut down the previous trees, I thought I should repay the land by replanting seeds for the next person, even if that is hundreds of years from now. Anyway, I have tried this numerous times, and it was not some sort of wild fluke, the trees have grown back! This land is more amazing than I thought!

Night 7:
  Not much has happened as of late. I built my castle up a bit and installed a crude wooden door. That should stop any unwanted visitors from coming in, even if they find me. I still retreat to my underground cave at night, just as a double precaution. I doubt they will be able to dig down and find me if they have not in almost eight days. If they are hunting creatures, they would have easily found my scent by now.

Day 8:
  These creepers are going to be the death of me!!! I was fixing up around my castle planting trees and setting up torches when all of a sudden I received what felt like a giant body slam and blacked out. When I awoke there was a large gaping hole in the earth similar to the encounter with a creeper and my backpack blow to bits with my possessions strewn about me. I collected myself and my tools and supplies. I managed to patch up the castle wall that was destroyed in the blast and replace the torches, but it will require further work later when I am up to it. For now I must return downstairs (or rather downladder and pray I do not pass out and fall the rest of the way) and eat a little bit to help regain my strength.

Night 8:
  I have have eaten and feel a bit better. I decided to go out and sit on the wall of my castle and noticed a zombie lurking about at the top of the hill as if deciding whether or not an attack was a good idea. I waited around to see if it would ignite, but it ducked behind the hill as the sun approached so I do not know the outcome of that. The animals are always so active at night, I always think I'm about to be attacked until I realize it's just a cow and then feel foolish.