11:50 pm
So I decided to try something new today: I want to match my current schedule with a schedule I'd prefer to be on. Right now, as mentioned last night, I'm about 12 hours away from where I want to be. I woke up at 10 pm instead of 9 pm so I technically "slept in" an hour. Meals are all messed up because I'm awake at 10 pm, my body wants dinner and to jump-start my day because I know that the rest of the world has started its day. And the evening. And the night. I find it interesting that even though I've changed my cycle to where I am now, I still subconsciously know that it's night time. Obviously the sun is set and everything, but my body's cycle isn't different, I'm just awake and asleep at a different time.
I think that if I were to do this clock change again (maybe over the summer if necessary) I would do each change longer and probably with less jump. For this schedule I've been adding three hours every night, which is more than I add when I stay up more and more each night. The days that I could go from going to bed at 7 am and then going to bed at 1 pm, I was doing something that kept me awake. Last winter break I was making things out of Sculpy the whole night while watching about 8 Simon Pegg movies back to back. This time I'm attempting to run my normal schedule and adding hours willy-nilly. I believe this was a bit of a mistake. It's working out, mind you, but tomorrow I'm going to bed at 4 pm and I don't know how that is going to effect me. I'm interested to see the turning point though. Rather, when does it become late enough to go to bed? 4 pm is late in the afternoon, then 7 pm is too early in the evening. Maybe 10 pm or 11 pm is the turning point, because going to bed at 9 pm making me feel like a child. Anyway, as I said, I would probably do each shift longer, so instead of three hours added every day, add three hours and then do that for two or three days before adding more to let my body get used to it.
1:42 am
It's technically almost 2 in the afternoon for me and I don't know where my "morning" went. I woke up at 10, showered, tried to fix my dad's headphones (while cutting weeds I snipped through my dad's Bose headphones I was wearing. You read that right), made...breakfast? Lunch? It was "noon" but I'd only been up for two hours. I don't know if I should just let my mind slip into the illusion of the 12 hours change or continue to compare the two. It's kind of like when daylight savings ends or begins and everyone keeps saying that it's technically "whatever" time of day it is, forward or back. Either way it's quarter to two and I need food. I've technically been up for four hours and I haven't done much but little management things, which I suppose is what I'd do if up at 10 am anyway.
The part that really causes this separation for me is that while at home on the computer, I am able to slip into the illusion that I'm on the other side of the clock. Unfortunately I have things to do that cause me to interact with the outside world while still on this schedule. Today is the best (and really the only) example I have of this. At noon tomorrow I'm going to UIC to return some books from last semester and I have to be home by 4 pm to get to bed. Considering this from the flip side, that's like saying I'm going to UIC at midnight to return some books and I have to be home by 4 am. This is where it gets tricky. Looking at my schedule from the flip side, it makes no sense because it's crossing the Thursday/Friday threshold. Here's how I just explained it to a friend:
As of right now I'm technically 12 hours away from where I want to be in terms of awake/sleep, but it's not that I'm behind, I'm ahead. It's 2 am, but to me it's really like 2 pm if I were normal. Because I cross from Thursday to Friday but will be awake in a 12 hours difference and it's still Friday when I go to bed, it means my body thinks it's 2 pm *Thursday* afternoon, not Friday because in real-people time it's Thursday night, not Friday morning right now.
It's 2 am Friday the 6th, but according to my sleep schedule and my mindset, it's 2 pm Thursday afternoon, not Friday afternoon. I was under the impression that I was jumping 12 hours into Friday because Friday, but I realize now that I went forward, not back. This is particularly frightening because while I could just pretend it was Friday and not Thursday and go live somewhere in India (more or less), there is nowhere in the world that it is currently 2 pm Thursday. It doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but to me it's 2 pm Thursday afternoon and the sun is down. If I don't think about it too hard it's not that bad, but when I do put it all in perspective, I feel like I'm lost in time. I could laugh and say that I could call someone in Asia and they'd be awake, but let's say that I decided to shift my whole life to exist at 2 pm Thursday the 5th, no where else in the world is like that ( I don't think, I'm pretty sure). While it's not really 2 pm Thursday the 5th and I'm in the middle of the night transitioning to sleeping at midnight like a normal person, that means my body is technically a day behind, and I feel like I've lost something...somewhere. This doesn't matter too much because there's no real "end", but I feel like if say the world was going to end the 10th, I would have only gotten to the 9th and I feel I've lost something there.
Honestly if I think about all this too hard, it's pretty fucked up.
4:07 am
I always like to make a note of my 12-hour mark. I have 12 hours until I go to bed. I always like to try an project my mind out into the next stretch to imagine the amount of information, important or otherwise, that I'll be taking in. For instance in 4 hours once the city starts to wake up and start its day, there's a guy coming to check the oven because it hasn't been working correctly. Then at noon I'm heading over to UIC to return some books, as I've mentioned. That requires a walk, a bus ride, a train ride, seeing people around the campus, and then doing it all backwards and coming home, then sleeping. 12 hours until sleep!
6:00 am
I'm not sure where I stand at this point. The reason I started all this was because I can't turn my clock back comfortably enough so I decided to stay up later and later until I've gone all the way around. Instead, I've put myself 12 hours off from where I want to be and started moving back.
I've convinced myself that it's 6 pm Thursday evening and I'll be going to bed 4 am Friday morning (instead of 6 am and going to bed at 4 pm). The reason I don't know where I'm going is because after today that all gets messed up. Today is the only day that thinking in terms of a 12-hour clock works. Tomorrow if I try that I'd be thinking I was going to bed at 7 am and waking up at 4 pm. That's the opposite of what I want to do. After that I would think I was going to bed at 10 am and sleeping until 7 pm. By the time I get to the end I would think that I was going to bed at noon and sleeping until 9 pm. The trouble is that I've already done that; that's how I got here. The point I suppose I'm trying to make is that if I don't get out of this "just switch it 12 hours back!" mindset I don't know what will happen. Obviously it won't kill me, but I feel like I will be very confused until I got used to the new schedule. It's not a huge deal, but I thought that I had it all figured out for the rest of the week, instead it turns out pretending is only giving me the illusion of being back on the schedule I'm trying to escape.
1:20 pm
Man, if I thought being awake at "noon" with the sun down was weird, it's technically the middle of the night for me with the sun up! I like it though. I've spent a lot of this break awake at night and while I like it, it's almost like a whole change of scenery. It's so much more alive. The light's coming in through the windows, which makes me feel less secluded. Maybe it's because I can see the outside world and not just across the street. There are more people awake, which is nice too. I only have a couple more hours to go. I find it easier to stay up through the day and then sleep in the afternoon than stay up through the night when I don't really want to. I know sunlight helps you wake up, UV light tells your brain to rock out with its cock out. It's strange to think that this is the middle of my night and that I'll be going to bed in a few hours. With winter and all the sun will be going down as I go to bed, which means I got a sunrise and a sunset and a good 12 hours of sunlight to my brain. Even if I'm not outside taking it in, psychologically it feels good to see the day.
3:36 pm
Well I'm wrapping everything up. I'm going to just hang out for half an hour watching stuff on Youtube and then I'll head to bed. I've been finding that when I've been going to bed during the day I'm perfectly willing to just hang out until bedtime compared to the night or early morning when the last hour or two is a real stretch and a fight to stay awake. I could probably stay up a couple hours, akin to staying up to 3 in the morning on a regular schedule, but then I just have to make up for it tomorrow and I don't really want to deviate from my current plan. Plus, the later I go to bed in the afternoon, the later I wake up later tonight. I'm not too keen on waking up at 1 am, since I've spent all day awake, waking up in the middle of the night as everyone's going to bed sounds depressing. Is that how people see my habits?
Friday, January 6, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Day 3: Party Like A Rockstar
7:09 pm
I'm pretty sure I've weeded out my body's true cycle. I woke up at 4 pm feeling pretty good, so I have a feeling that 7am-4pm is when my body thinks it should be sleeping. Well body, I'm afraid I'm here to change that!
I hate waking up in the dark. If anything is going to screw me up, it's that. Last winter break I completely messed myself up by going to bed around around 9 or 10 and waking up between 6 and 7. Obviously that's what I'm doing now, but I'm only passing through. Last winter I got stuck in this schedule and I always woke up so tired. I don't know that much about it, but spending a whole winter break getting 5 minutes of sunlight a day did not make my body nor my brain very pleased. At least I'm only doing this for a day. Tomorrow is going to have some interesting effects because I'm awake from 7 pm to 1 pm tomorrow. I don't really look forward to that, nor do I look forward to sleeping until 10 pm. I am however completely fine with being up from 10 pm until 4 pm the next day. I have some stuff to get done and that's when I'm going to do it, but I think the prospect of being up for practically a whole day, until 4 pm! Gosh!
Looking at this schedule reminds me of taking the train system around Chicago. You might pass stations you don't need to get off at or go farther than you'd like because you have to transfer to another train to go back the way you came but then it curves and goes where you need. Honestly I still don't know why this schedule works, but I know it does and so I trust myself from the past to have done everything correctly. I think today or tomorrow is the peak of messing myself up. This schedule is definitely an example of things having to get worse before they get better. Looking at my calendar I don't consciously understand why I'm going to bed at 4 pm, but then I remind myself that I'm going around the 24-hour clock to get back to normal. On paper this all seems normal but now that I'm here it seems pretty goofy. But if it works I'll be happy!
I believe the reason I'm confused is because I'm thinking, why does going to bed at 7 pm help me at all? That's staying up pretty late the next day, which is what I'm trying to stop. Then I have to remind myself I've gone forward into the next day on purpose and that everything's alright. This is what I was worried about when I started this. I'm hoping once I'm going to bed at midnight or 1 am like a regular person I'll adapt and understand. If not, I'm going to be constantly thinking that I've stayed up too late and will never know what day it is. Well, we'll see what happens, I still have...ohfuckme...five days left. Party like a rockstar I suppose.
7:33 pm (It's really weird to be labeling this "pm" after last night's journal.)
Just thought I'd share this comic with you all, I found it amusing:
http://www.amazingsuperpowers.com/2012/01/decaf/
11:03 pm
So I'm watching videos of pranks on youtube and as most of you know, at the end it gives you related videos.
I decided to click on it and it's a clip from what looks like a Spanish soap opera. I don't know what it's doing there, but it was weird.
7:40 am
I find it interesting that instead of seeing the effects this schedule is having on me, I'm just hanging out like always. I guess at the end it might be interesting to map out my days and compare the hours to see what time of the day is most like others. The only trouble with that is because it's winter break, waking up at 7 pm is about the same as waking up at 7 am. Oh well.
Anyway, I've written about goofy Craigslist adventures before but after a couple weeks the links became defunct so I won't bother linking to it. I will, however like to this Cracked article! At least now I don't seem like a crazy person for looking at Craigslist (#1 in the article). I always find Craigslist interesting just to see the type of people on there, what they're looking for, and how they ask for it, as well as which taglines catch my attention enough to click on them. Like this woman! Obviously that woman is older, but I always feel kind of sad when I see people in my age group (between 20 and 24) on Craigslist, especially when they're looking for long-term relationships or their "soul mate" (a surprising number are). I'm 20. I can't imagine looking for a real relationship on something as sketchy as this, or even online. But if it works I suppose more power to them.
Oh man, this girl too, goofy.
Alright, it looks like I'm going to be on here a while:
-- This girl isn't too strange, but I have to be completely honest here, I clicked on her ad because I thought it said, "What to live in a Sub?" I suppose that tells you something about me?
A couple of months ago someone posted this to Twitter from Reddit and I found it really interesting, check it out.
-- Not going to lie, this is pretty amusing.
--It's not because of your weight, but yes. You are wrong because you are looking on Craigslist.
-- People who don't own levels need not apply.
--I've been on here for 15 minutes, I really should go be more productive with my life. But at least it's not like last time where I had a paper due the next day.
8:36 am
Well I've moved on to Cracked, which is definitely more intellectually stimulating. While you're here, check out John Cheese, my favorite writer for Cracked.
So I was thinking a bit more about my schedule and while it's not perfect, I think today is definitely the peak of my schedule, it's about 12 hours off from where I want to be. That's pretty cool to me for some reason.
11:41 am
One interesting thing I've noticed about this experiment or what-have-you is that I'm always really tired the last two or so hours of every day. I think it's because of the 3 hour push-jump, but I can't be sure. All I know is that the past couple of nights it's been a bit of a struggle to stay awake. It hasn't been as bad as times I've woken up with too little sleep and had to fight for consciousness, but I'm still pretty tired. I must say, I'm enjoying the amount of sunlight I'm seeing... There's so much light blue, I haven't see it in a while! It's strange, on one hand I want to go to bed, but on the other I actually feel like I'm going to miss the sunlight. I don't think my body knows what to do at this point. Probably should just go out and have copious amounts of sex.
I'm pretty sure I've weeded out my body's true cycle. I woke up at 4 pm feeling pretty good, so I have a feeling that 7am-4pm is when my body thinks it should be sleeping. Well body, I'm afraid I'm here to change that!
I hate waking up in the dark. If anything is going to screw me up, it's that. Last winter break I completely messed myself up by going to bed around around 9 or 10 and waking up between 6 and 7. Obviously that's what I'm doing now, but I'm only passing through. Last winter I got stuck in this schedule and I always woke up so tired. I don't know that much about it, but spending a whole winter break getting 5 minutes of sunlight a day did not make my body nor my brain very pleased. At least I'm only doing this for a day. Tomorrow is going to have some interesting effects because I'm awake from 7 pm to 1 pm tomorrow. I don't really look forward to that, nor do I look forward to sleeping until 10 pm. I am however completely fine with being up from 10 pm until 4 pm the next day. I have some stuff to get done and that's when I'm going to do it, but I think the prospect of being up for practically a whole day, until 4 pm! Gosh!
Looking at this schedule reminds me of taking the train system around Chicago. You might pass stations you don't need to get off at or go farther than you'd like because you have to transfer to another train to go back the way you came but then it curves and goes where you need. Honestly I still don't know why this schedule works, but I know it does and so I trust myself from the past to have done everything correctly. I think today or tomorrow is the peak of messing myself up. This schedule is definitely an example of things having to get worse before they get better. Looking at my calendar I don't consciously understand why I'm going to bed at 4 pm, but then I remind myself that I'm going around the 24-hour clock to get back to normal. On paper this all seems normal but now that I'm here it seems pretty goofy. But if it works I'll be happy!
I believe the reason I'm confused is because I'm thinking, why does going to bed at 7 pm help me at all? That's staying up pretty late the next day, which is what I'm trying to stop. Then I have to remind myself I've gone forward into the next day on purpose and that everything's alright. This is what I was worried about when I started this. I'm hoping once I'm going to bed at midnight or 1 am like a regular person I'll adapt and understand. If not, I'm going to be constantly thinking that I've stayed up too late and will never know what day it is. Well, we'll see what happens, I still have...ohfuckme...five days left. Party like a rockstar I suppose.
7:33 pm (It's really weird to be labeling this "pm" after last night's journal.)
Just thought I'd share this comic with you all, I found it amusing:
http://www.amazingsuperpowers.com/2012/01/decaf/
11:03 pm
So I'm watching videos of pranks on youtube and as most of you know, at the end it gives you related videos.
 |
| Uuuuuh.... |
7:40 am
I find it interesting that instead of seeing the effects this schedule is having on me, I'm just hanging out like always. I guess at the end it might be interesting to map out my days and compare the hours to see what time of the day is most like others. The only trouble with that is because it's winter break, waking up at 7 pm is about the same as waking up at 7 am. Oh well.
Anyway, I've written about goofy Craigslist adventures before but after a couple weeks the links became defunct so I won't bother linking to it. I will, however like to this Cracked article! At least now I don't seem like a crazy person for looking at Craigslist (#1 in the article). I always find Craigslist interesting just to see the type of people on there, what they're looking for, and how they ask for it, as well as which taglines catch my attention enough to click on them. Like this woman! Obviously that woman is older, but I always feel kind of sad when I see people in my age group (between 20 and 24) on Craigslist, especially when they're looking for long-term relationships or their "soul mate" (a surprising number are). I'm 20. I can't imagine looking for a real relationship on something as sketchy as this, or even online. But if it works I suppose more power to them.
Oh man, this girl too, goofy.
Alright, it looks like I'm going to be on here a while:
-- This girl isn't too strange, but I have to be completely honest here, I clicked on her ad because I thought it said, "What to live in a Sub?" I suppose that tells you something about me?
A couple of months ago someone posted this to Twitter from Reddit and I found it really interesting, check it out.
-- Not going to lie, this is pretty amusing.
--It's not because of your weight, but yes. You are wrong because you are looking on Craigslist.
-- People who don't own levels need not apply.
--I've been on here for 15 minutes, I really should go be more productive with my life. But at least it's not like last time where I had a paper due the next day.
8:36 am
Well I've moved on to Cracked, which is definitely more intellectually stimulating. While you're here, check out John Cheese, my favorite writer for Cracked.
So I was thinking a bit more about my schedule and while it's not perfect, I think today is definitely the peak of my schedule, it's about 12 hours off from where I want to be. That's pretty cool to me for some reason.
11:41 am
One interesting thing I've noticed about this experiment or what-have-you is that I'm always really tired the last two or so hours of every day. I think it's because of the 3 hour push-jump, but I can't be sure. All I know is that the past couple of nights it's been a bit of a struggle to stay awake. It hasn't been as bad as times I've woken up with too little sleep and had to fight for consciousness, but I'm still pretty tired. I must say, I'm enjoying the amount of sunlight I'm seeing... There's so much light blue, I haven't see it in a while! It's strange, on one hand I want to go to bed, but on the other I actually feel like I'm going to miss the sunlight. I don't think my body knows what to do at this point. Probably should just go out and have copious amounts of sex.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Day 2: Electric Boogaloo
For an explanation see here.
5:24 pm
Oof, I did not sleep well. I woke up at 1:30ish and didn't feel like going back to sleep, but I told myself I had to. Sometimes my body doesn't mind 6 or so hours of sleep, but I forced myself to get 9. Luckily I ended up waking up at 3:55 was able to just wake up naturally rather than be woken up by an alarm, which just makes the whole situation worse.
I had a crazy dream crossing Skyrim and Interview With the Vampire. There were a bunch of vampires and they were arguing about whether to turn a group of soldiers into vampires and side with the Empire to fight the other vampires or to fight against them. Basically, those who wanted to join the Empire would be fighting those who didn't want to. The war was going to exist because the war existed. It felt pretty recursive (I hope I'm using that right). Anyway, I got up and started my day doing nothing. I'll have to find something to do tonight because I have to be awake until 10 am Wednesday. Wheee!
7:44 pm
This is the part of my day that feels like a normal person's afternoon. It's practically 8, but it it feels like my day is winding down in terms of activity and less energetic activities begin, like video games or reading for a few hours. Maybe that's because when I actually get out of bed, it's the peak (more or less) of the afternoon before everyone finishes their day off.
4:00 am
Welp, I still have 6 hours until bedtime, soo.... that's going to be fun. I've been playing Skyrim for the past couple of hours, so I'll probably do that then maybe write some more. I'll probably wind down with a movie or two.
6:26 am
Whoop, it is only 6:30 in the morning and I still have 3 and a half hours to go. I've just been playing Skyrim all night, which is fun. I suppose that 10 am bedtime is not the most ridiculous thing (I've gone to bed at 1 in the afternoon the next day before) but telling myself, "No, you have to stay up" is strange.
7:43 am
Oh, that's nice. Only two hours left. I decided to watch "She's Out of My League", starring Jay Baruchel. I think he's a really good actor, I'm glad he's in this. Honestly I think if he wasn't this movie would be pretty awful, because it kind of is. It's predictable and cheesy, but he's quirky and that's nice.
8:16 am
Whoo, there is sun! I am seeing the sun for more than the beginning of a sunrise! WHOOOOO! I'm not going to lie, it is inconveniently bouncing off my neighbors' roof and hitting me in the eye, but whatever I guess! I'm surprised that my body seems to be coping well enough with this weird schedule, while it is only two days in, but that might be because I just ate. At some point I will finish writing Nathan's Sexy Guide to Staying Up Late. Maybe I will do that this week.
9:50 am
Well it's almost time for bed, which I look forward to. Around 9:30 I realized I was actually pretty tired, which was not pleasant. I started watching Transformers. I've seen it before, but for some reason I felt my life needed some kickass robots. Anyway, it looks like I get to sleep until 7 pm tonight, whiiiich will be quite disorienting. Tomorrow's going to be the best though, since that puts me right in the middle of the day. My roommate warned me that adding 3 hours every day was not the best idea, but I don't really have time for anything else so I'll just deal with it. Party like a rockstar!
5:24 pm
Oof, I did not sleep well. I woke up at 1:30ish and didn't feel like going back to sleep, but I told myself I had to. Sometimes my body doesn't mind 6 or so hours of sleep, but I forced myself to get 9. Luckily I ended up waking up at 3:55 was able to just wake up naturally rather than be woken up by an alarm, which just makes the whole situation worse.
I had a crazy dream crossing Skyrim and Interview With the Vampire. There were a bunch of vampires and they were arguing about whether to turn a group of soldiers into vampires and side with the Empire to fight the other vampires or to fight against them. Basically, those who wanted to join the Empire would be fighting those who didn't want to. The war was going to exist because the war existed. It felt pretty recursive (I hope I'm using that right). Anyway, I got up and started my day doing nothing. I'll have to find something to do tonight because I have to be awake until 10 am Wednesday. Wheee!
7:44 pm
This is the part of my day that feels like a normal person's afternoon. It's practically 8, but it it feels like my day is winding down in terms of activity and less energetic activities begin, like video games or reading for a few hours. Maybe that's because when I actually get out of bed, it's the peak (more or less) of the afternoon before everyone finishes their day off.
4:00 am
Welp, I still have 6 hours until bedtime, soo.... that's going to be fun. I've been playing Skyrim for the past couple of hours, so I'll probably do that then maybe write some more. I'll probably wind down with a movie or two.
6:26 am
Whoop, it is only 6:30 in the morning and I still have 3 and a half hours to go. I've just been playing Skyrim all night, which is fun. I suppose that 10 am bedtime is not the most ridiculous thing (I've gone to bed at 1 in the afternoon the next day before) but telling myself, "No, you have to stay up" is strange.
7:43 am
Oh, that's nice. Only two hours left. I decided to watch "She's Out of My League", starring Jay Baruchel. I think he's a really good actor, I'm glad he's in this. Honestly I think if he wasn't this movie would be pretty awful, because it kind of is. It's predictable and cheesy, but he's quirky and that's nice.
8:16 am
Whoo, there is sun! I am seeing the sun for more than the beginning of a sunrise! WHOOOOO! I'm not going to lie, it is inconveniently bouncing off my neighbors' roof and hitting me in the eye, but whatever I guess! I'm surprised that my body seems to be coping well enough with this weird schedule, while it is only two days in, but that might be because I just ate. At some point I will finish writing Nathan's Sexy Guide to Staying Up Late. Maybe I will do that this week.
9:50 am
Well it's almost time for bed, which I look forward to. Around 9:30 I realized I was actually pretty tired, which was not pleasant. I started watching Transformers. I've seen it before, but for some reason I felt my life needed some kickass robots. Anyway, it looks like I get to sleep until 7 pm tonight, whiiiich will be quite disorienting. Tomorrow's going to be the best though, since that puts me right in the middle of the day. My roommate warned me that adding 3 hours every day was not the best idea, but I don't really have time for anything else so I'll just deal with it. Party like a rockstar!
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