So I know I haven't posted anything in a while. No, I'm not going to apologize. In fact, fuck you.
For those of you who don't know, using a definite article means the word "the". the indefinite article is "a". I'm unsure if there are more, but for now, that's what we'll go with. E.g. The neighbor's dog bit me yesterday. The dog is just the worst the worst pet.
Saying "the dog" becomes a type of pronoun for "the neighbor's dog". If the next sentence had been, "A dog is the just the worst pet", you would think I was talking about all dogs.
The Prank:
Completely ignore the rules of definite articles and see if you can get people to stop using pronouns. The idea came about when reading a linguistic example about a court case involving Iowa, and I was thinking, "What if every time one of the lawyers said 'The State', you pretended you weren't sure which state they were talking about. While it might be annoying, I wonder if it were possible for you to eventually get everyone to say Iowa every time they mentioned the State." Similarly, if someone was telling you a story, if you made sure they knew you were listening (so if they ask you if you're even paying attention, just repeat the story thus far), ask them to specify each pronoun. Get them to stop using pronouns all together! Or they'll just stop talking to you, which, in reality, is the most likely course of action. But isn't that the point of linguistics? To be so semantically educated that no one wants to talk to you anymore?
