Dungeons And Dragons

  I'm a gaming nerd. I'm sure that's no surprise, given the numerous Minecraft blogs. Well the summer going into senior year of high school, a few of my friends and I formed a band called The Flintlocks. It was awesome, and while we never went anywhere, I wrote this song that our singer refused to sing because it would ruin his street cred. That said, here it is.

There are cave bears (the furry beasts!),
but our wizard shall toast them, there shall be feasts!
he makes the most checks so we don't die,
and he's got a spell so we can fly!
he's chaotic evil and fire based.
he's one of the worst enemies you've ever faced.

We have a warrior; we call him a fighter,
we really wish he was a little brighter.
His intelligence is eight,
so he knows just enough to mate.

We have a bard, he likes to sing.
His inspiring words, he will fling!
We hit stronger, we hit harder,
When we're dead, our names they shall martyr!


We're playing Dungeons and Dragons,
Meetin’ hot chicks n’ drinking outta flagons.
We've fought goblins and we've fought kobolds
Leavin’ victorious, loaded with swords and gold!


Of course there's the ranger, the drunken lout.
He just strings his bow and shoots about.
He could never miss a single shot.
He can shoot a fly the size of a dot!

We acquired an avenger, what an odd guy.
He’s a royal assassin, so he's quite sly.
He’s mostly good for that one monster you can't hit.
But he's weak, so after every battle he'll have to sit.

We're playing Dungeons and Dragons,
Meetin’ hot chicks n’ drinking outta flagons.
We've fought goblins and we've fought kobolds
Leavin’ victorious, loaded with swords and gold!

We have a glorious warlord, he's really scary.
big and burly, and a wee bit hairy.
He's a tiefling, but he can be nice.
still don't mess with him or you'll pay the price.

A halfing rogue is last and least (just kidding).
daggers and knives are really quite fitting.
He jumps and twirls, dances and leaps,
the bodies stack up in nice neat heaps.

We're playing Dungeons and Dragons,
Meetin’ hot chicks n’ drinking outta flagons.
We've fought goblins and we've fought kobolds
Leavin’ victorious, loaded with swords and gold!

Of course then there's the dungeon master
he's everything from troll to caster.
he throws out the monsters for us to kill
even though we always die a little.

As a party we knock them about,
stick them in a bag of holding, drag them out!
Staves, swords, axes, lutes and knives,
Stand in our way, we shall take your lives!
Of course then there's the dungeon master
he's everything from troll to caster.
he throws out the monsters for us to kill
even though we always die a little.
he plans wars and he plans battles,
across the continent our fights will rattle!
There are steam punk engineers and a mage level thirty,
Jim Darkmagic has spells that are really quite hurty!
There are fire dragons and crazy guns,
soon we'll deal with emperors' sons!
Our team speaks almost every speech,
so there's no language in which we cannot preach!
Our heroes will arise to paragons, and even gods.
There's nothing we can't handle, we win by all odds!